Relationships Online

Online dating has become very popular worldwide and attracts people from many different nations and backgrounds to communicate with each other and form relationships but how do you really know who you are talking to?, how do you if you are safe when you are talking to people in online dating communities?, you can not be 100% sure that you are always safe but there are some precautions you can take. Find a reputable and trusted community. There are hundreds of different online dating websites and many have different features and advantages, you should spend time finding out which ones are the most trusted and which ones would be the safest for you to use. You should spend time asking people such as friends and family that have used these services and get to know which website they have had good experiences with, you should also do your own research by searching the web for information about each service and even contact the owners to ask them questions you might have. The main point is that you know you are using a service that can be trusted. Protect your personal details. Never give out any personal details about yourself or your lifestyle unless you are absolutely comfortable doing so with the person you are talking to, there are people out there that will take advantage of the information you share with them, do not give them the opportunity to do so, always protect your personal details. Personal details that you should not share include things like your phone number, your home address, any financial details, even your full name if you do not feel comfortable sharing it. Protect your computer. Take steps to make sure you have little chance of receiving viruses, key loggers and any other risk to your computer. It can be very easy to receive certain security risks in the online world and the affects can be devastating, you can download programs that will help to keep you safe from various places on the web, search google for them and research the different risks. Get to know who your talking to. When you are talking to people on the web, you should try to build a level of trust by asking simple questions and viewing what type of responses you get, if someone is being secretive about things that they usually shouldn't be, then more than likely they will have something to hide. Ask people questions and try to get to know them. Stick with the community. When you are using a service that you know you can trust and feel safe with, it is always best to only chat with people using that community and it's features before you start talking with people using your personal contact methods. Use the forums, chat room, private messaging systems and the other features that your service provides before using your personal email address, instant messenger or phone number.

Frequently Asked Questions

  1. QUESTION:
    What Do You Think About Online Relationships?
    Do you believe in having an online relationship (friendship, romance) with someone you've never met? Have you ever had an online friend? Do you think that we can trust online friends? What is your criteria for trusting online friends? Have you encountered any fakes so far? Just share anything you have on this issue, thanks! :)
    @ Kathleen: I am real though. But I am not as good-looking as people might want. :)

    • ANSWER:
      You can't have a romance with someone you have never met. You can have a penpal. I did online dating a few years ago and you would not beleive the number of fakes and scammers I met.

      Online dating only works if you use it as an introduction, then actually meet the person face to face to see if there is chemistry. I found from experience that people can be VERY different in person than they are online. That's why you don't want to waste a lot of time online. I spent a few months chatting to a guy who was working on a contract in Hong Kong and our online chats were amazing. We did not get to meet until he came back to London and there was no chemistry in person. The fun, funny, charming guy on email could not have been more boring and disinterested in person. I felt like I had wasted so much time on him

      Another friend in London spent a full year chatting on the phone and through IM to a lady in Los Angeles. He only saw the pictures on her dating profile, they never had a single Skype call. After a year he felt he might want to marry her so he took a 3 month leave from his job to go to California, meet her in person, get to know her and was thinking of possibly proposing to her if it all worked out. He returned home angry and depressed just 3 days later because she was not the same person. Not only wasn't she the woman in the profile pictures - she was 15 years older than what she told him, she weighed about 250lbs, she said she had no kids but had 2 teenagers by 2 different men, she lied about her job. And if that weren't bad enough the sweet, loving girl he talked to every night was a mean, nasty emotionally abusive witch to her kids and to him

      Here is this Y!A poster's experience http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ap88NCH3ULGnMS7CS7P4amhJBgx.;_ylv=3?qid=20120724042317AA8XFPx

      Another friend's mom lost about 00 to some online scammer she thought was going to marry her. He claimed to be an English engineer working in West Africa. She trusted him so much that she kept sending him money that he claimed he would pay back once he could access his bank account

      There are some nice people online but there are also liars, psychos, scammers and many others who look to take advantage (emotionally or monetarily) of people they meet online

      If you meet online insist on a Skype video chat right away and if they won't, then don't pursue it. At least with Skype you know who you are actually talking to. If they refuse a video chat then it means they usually are not the person in their profile picture or are not who they pretend to be

  2. QUESTION:
    What are your views on online relationships?
    As in: dating someone, saying you're taken, but never have met the person.

    My friend is doing this and I would just like to see what other people see this as. Is it real?
    They talk on the phone every day. She's 16 and he's 20. I'm concerned.

    • ANSWER:
      this is my views about online relationship....
      take a look at this!

      LURKING, PREYING OR BROWSING FOR LOVE?
      WARNING ON INTERNET AFFAIRS

      SO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND ON THE NET...GREAT! BUT ARE YOU ASKING YOURSELF IF IT IS DANGEROUS TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP ONLINE OR IT IS AN ACCEPTABLE WAY TO FIND A MATE?

      ROMANCES FORMED ON THE INTERNET FOLLOWS A LOT OF SCRIPT. I SHOULD SAY SO...FROM DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL INTIMACY TO GOING BEYOND THE MOMENT OF REALITY...WELL, IT IS A LONG PROCESS.
      LOVE AT FIRST BYTE? HMMM...THATS A BIG QUESTION! I WILL TELL YOU MY STORY IN THE LATER PART AND YOU WILL BE AMAZED.

      WELL, INTERNET AFFAIRS CAN BE DANGEROUS AND CAN ALSO BE ACCEPTABLE. IF YOU ARE CAUTIOUS, INTELLIGENT AND SMART ENOUGH YOU CAN MINIMIZE THE DANGER AND GET MANY BENEFITS OF INTERNET RELATIONSHIPS. THE BENEFITS LIKE THAT OF: YOU GOT AN INSTANT ENGLISH TEACHER, AN ENGLISH TUTORIAL, A SCHOOL WITH LOW TUITION FEES YOU JUST LOG ON AND PRESTO! BUT BE PREPARED FOR YOUR TIME, YOUR EFFORT, YOUR ENERGY, YOUR INTERNET BILLS AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. AND ONCE YOU GET ALONG WITH IT. IT WILL BE A LOT OF FUN.

      ARE YOU THE ONE WHO ALWAYS WANT TO REACH FOR YOUR MOUSE WITH SWEATY PALMS? OR THE ONE WHO GOT A BUTTERFLY IN YOUR STOMACH? OR THE ONE WHO IS LOOKING FOR SOME E-MAILS AND LOOKING FOR HIM ONLINE? OH! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE FACT...LOVE HAS JUST ARRIVED! AND HEY GET READY FOR AN EYEBAGS AND PINGS ON YOUR CELLPHONE.

      THE INTERNET IS A REMARKABLE SITUATION IS WHICH YOU CAN IMAGINE ALL KIND OF THINGS ABOUT THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO WITHOUT A VOICE (THANKS THERES A MESSENGER WITH VOICE CALLS AND THANKS YOUR SELF IF YOU CAN AFFORD BROADBANDS) THE LITTLE CLUES THAT ARE PRESENT IN THE "IN PERSON" OR "FACE TO FACE" RELATIONSHIP. YOUR IMAGINATION CAN RUN PRETTY WILD AND YOU CAN BUILD A PICTURE OF SOMEONE EXTREMELY DESIRABLE THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FULFILL. THIS IS WHY MOST GIRLS EVENTUALLY GET DISAPPOINTED WHEN THEY MEET THEIR "ONLINE" BOYFRIEND IN PERSON. THEIR "ONLINE LOVERS" SOUNDS REALLY GREAT ONLINE BUT WHEN THEY MET THEM IN PERSON, THERE IS JUST NO SPARKS AFTER ALL SO THEY END UP MEETING ONLY ONCE.

      WE OFTEN HEAR TALES OF SECRET AFFAIRS PEOPLE HAVE VIA INTERNET. THE INTERNET LOVER OFTEN LEADS A DOUBLE LIFE THINKING THEY WILL NEVER BE CAUGHT. ADDICTED, THEY RACE TO THEIR COMPUTERS AND LOG INTO THEIR PRIVATE MAILBOX HOPING THEIR NET LOVERS HAS LEFT THEM A MESSAGE.

      THE INTERNET HAS BEEN BLAMED FOR BREAKING UP MARRIAGES AND OTHER RELATIONSHIPS. IT HAS ALLOWED MANY TO HAVE SECRET AFFAIRS. FOR SOME IT HAS ALLOWED THEM TO LEAVE UNHAPPY RELATIONSHIPS AND START NEW ONES. I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE EXAMPLES THAT I AM FAMILIAR WITH ESPECIALLY SINCE I AM ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS. SO READ THIS...

      THE RELATIONSHIP TURNED INTO A LOVE RELATIONSHIP WHICH APPROXIMATELY MEANS THAT THERE ARE NO LETTERS WITHOUT FLIRTATION OR COMPLIMENTS BETWEEN US.THIS COULD NOT, OF COURSE, BE SO IN REAL LIFE AT LEAST NOT UNTIL WE HAVE MET. FINALLY AFTER STRUGGLING FOR SO MANY HOURS ON THE NET, CATCHING COLDS AND GETTING EYEBAGS I FINALLY MET MY MAN AFTER 4 MONTHS AND IT DID HAPPEN LAST JANUARY 8 TILL THE 21ST THIS YEAR 2006. FINALLY, THE WAITING FOR ME IS OVER.
      YET, IT WAS A PRETTY BRAVE MOVE. I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN WITH MY ONCE VIRTUAL SWEETHEART- THE REAL LIVE INDIVIDUAL

      THE DANGER SEEMS TO COME FROM TRUSTING TOO MUCH NOT VERIFYING INFORMATION AND ALSO BECOMING OVERLY INVOLVED OR TOO ADDICTIVE TO THEIRS LOVERS EMOTIONALLY.
      THERE IS REAL PAIN AND DISAPPOINTMENTS THAT ACCOMPANY LOVE ON THE NET. THOSE WHO DONT WANT TO OBSERVE THE REAL CAUTION CAN SUFFER FROM A REAL AND LONG HEALING SCARS OF LIFE.

      I HAVE HEARD OF GUYS AND GIRLS WHO HAVE "FALLEN IN LOVE" OVER SOMEONE ON THE NET. IF YOU ARE ONE OF THEM...HERE IS SOME WORDS OF CAUTION FOR YOU PEOPLE.

      REMEMBER, EACH PERSON MEANS DIFFERENT THING WHEN HE OR SHE SAYS "ILOVEYOU" IF YOU HAVE NEVER MET SOMEONE AND YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF IN LOVE AND THE FEELING IS TOO STRONG THAT YOU ARE PRE-OCCUPIED WITH THOUGHTS OF YOUR LOVE EVERYTIME WHETHER ONLINE OR NOT THEN I THINK YOU ARE PRONE TO LIVING IN FANTASY AND THAT IS DANGEROUS.
      THERE ARE THOSE WHO FANTASIZE A LOT OF THEIR LOVERS ONLINE AND WHO ALWAYS DAYDREAMING AND LOSE THEIR SENSE OF REALITY. THESE PEOPLE ARE PRONE TO ADORE THEIR LOVED ONE AND IT WILL BE VERY DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO ESCAPE AND RETURN BACK TO THE REALITY UNHARMED.

      ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE REAL PERSON OR JUST A FANTASY CREATED BY SOMEONE ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE? HOW ARE YOU SURE YOU KNOW YOUR LOVER ONLINE IS ENOUGH FOR YOU? I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THE PROBLEM WITH MEETING PEOPLE ONLINE. WHEN YOU MEET ONLINE YOU BECOME INTERESTED IN PEOPLE YOU WOULD HAVE IGNORED IF YOU HAVE SEEN THEM ONLY IN PERSON.

      STILL, INTERNET RELATIONSHIP CAN BE INTERESTING AND ENJOYABLE BUT FIRST DON'T TRADE IT FOR REAL "IN PERSON" RELATIONSHIP. MORE THAN LIKELY IT WAS ALSO AN EXPERIENCE FOR YOU WHEN YOU LOGGED ON TO THE NET THE VERY FIRST TIME. INITIALLY, ALL OF US WERE OVERWHELMED BY THE ABUNDANCE OF THE POSSIBLITIES. THEN AS WE BECAME MORE FAMILIAR WITH THE USE OF WORLDWIDE WEB WE COME ACROSS ONE OF ITS MOST EXCITING POTENTIAL AND THAT IS THE JOY OF MEETING PEOPLE. IN ORDER FOR SUCH MEETING TO BE MADE SIMPLER THERE ARE NUMBER OF SITES ON THE NET THAT FACILITATE FINDING FRIENDS AND PARTNERS.IF ANYONE USES THE INTERNET FOR ANYTHING BEYOND TECHNICAL INFORMATION THEY ARE REQUIRED TO LEARN NOT ONLY THE TECHNOLOGY BUT ALSO THE ETIQUETTE. THE LATTER IS THE MOST DIFFICULT AS IT IS STILL BEING FORMED.THE REASON THE FORMULATION IS MADE DIFFICULT IS BECAUSE CONTRARY TO ALL TRADITION WE ARE WITHOUT IDENTITY AND ACCOUNTABILITY ON THE NET.

      ANYONE CAN SURF, AND WHILE THIS IS ITSELF IS NOT A BAD THING, WE ARE SIMPLY SO NEW AT IT THAT WE DO NOT QUITE KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THE POSSIBILITIES. FOR THOSE WHO MANAGED TO SAIL OVER THE HURDLES AND FIND THEMSELVES IN THE CHAT WILL BE GREETED BY STRANGE SCENE. THEIR FIRST SURPRISE MAYBE THEY WILL BE IGNORED. PERHAPS THIS IS THE FIRST SIGN THAT WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS NOT A COMMUNITY IN A TRUE SENSE OF THE WORD. PERHAPS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT CHARACTERISTICS OF THE INTERNET IS...TO KEEP PEOPLE WAITING.

      I'M TALKING ABOUT SITUATIONS WHERE TO PEOPLE BEGAN ''TALKING'' EITHER IN CHAT OR IN THEIR PRIVATE MESSAGES AND SUDDENLY ONE SLOWS DOWN OR ALTOGETHER DISAPPEARS. SOME WHO MERELY DISAPPEAR (PERHAPS FOREVER JUST LIKE WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO MY FRIENDS DAUGHTHER WHO HAPPENS TO MEET AN ONLINE FRIEND FROM LONDON),

      CHOOSING TO COMMUNICATE IN SOMEWHAT BARBARIC FASHION THAT THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY. STILL ANOTHER CASE MAYBE WHERE AN INDIVIDUAL IS CARRYING ON CONVERSATION IN SEVERAL ''WINDOWS'' WITH AS MANY INDIVIDUALS HE/SHE CAN GET. ONE CAN JUST IMAGINE THE DEPTH OF SUCH CONVERSATION AS WE ARE, AFTER ALL, HUMAN AND NOT MULTI-CHANNEL MACHINES. ONE REASON IS THAT PEOPLE HAVE VERY FERTILE IMAGINATIONS AND THEY TEND TO CREATE A COMPLETE PICTURE OF THE OTHER PERSON GIVEN THEIR WRITTEN WORD.

      SOMETIMES REALITY IS NOT QUITE AS COLORFUL. ANOTHER MAYBE THAT THE MEDIUM TENDS TO MAKE FOR OVERSTATEMENTS. PEOPLE SAY THINGS, THE OTHER RESPONDS AT AN ACCELERATED LEVEL AND NOT WANTING TO BE LEFT BEHIND. WHAT ''I LOVE YOU''MEANS IS PRECIOUS, BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO SOMEONE IS LITTLE. I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT PEOPLE SET OUT TO FOOL EACH OTHER, IF, WE FOOL OURSELVES BECAUSE WE WANT SO MUCH FOR SOMEONE TO CARE ABOUT US, TO LOVE US THAT WE ARE QUITE WILLING TO BELIEVE OR INTERPRET WHAT IS SAID TO SUIT THE NEED. THE THIRD REASON IS THE VOLUME, IF THERE ARE SO MANY, HOW DO WE KNOW IF WE GOT THE BEST PERSON WE COULD HAVE? THEN WE TRY ANOTHER..THEN ANOTHER ..THEN ANOTHER? HUMANITY BY NATURE TENDS TOWARD POLYGAMY AND THAT IS DOUBLY TRUE. NATURALLY, IT IS TOUGH TO BE THE ONE WHO IS LEFT FOR ANOTHER- ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR A PARTNER FOR A LONG TIME AND THAT IS NOT JUST IN THE NET ONLY.

      NOW THE ULTIMATE QUESTION WILL BE...CAN AN INTERNET RELATIONSHIP BE EVENTUALLY WORK OUT? ACTUALLY, PEOPLE WHO MEET ON THE INTERNET MAY VERY WELL DEVELOP A LONG LASTING "IN PERSON" RELATIONSHIP. IN THESE CASE, IT IS HELPFUL TO THINK OF THE INTERNET AS TOOL SUCH AS DATING SERVICES OR NETWORK OF FRIENDS. IF THE RELATIONSHIP DOES WORK OUT, IT IS BECAUSE THE "IN PERSON" RELATIONSHIP WORK OUT. ONCE YOU MEET, I WOULDN'T CONSIDER IT AN INTERNET RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE ITS MUCH SO MORE THAN I COULD IMAGINE.

      THE INTERNET ALLOWS YOU TO MEET A LOT OF PEOPLE, TO WEED OUT PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT COMPATIBLE. BUT IT HAS LIMITS AND YOU CAN TAKE THE NEXT STEPS BY MEETING IN PERSON. AND WHAT IF YOU MEET THE PERSON? AND WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T MEET THE STANDARDS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR AND THE SAME WITH YOUR LOVER TOO? AND WHAT CAN YOU DO TO PROTECT YOURSELF WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HIM IN PERSON? AND WHAT IF YOUR LOVER COMES FROM A THOUSAND MILES AND YOU GET DISGUSTED OF HIM? OH! COME ON...IT IS NOT JUST A MATTER OF TIME, THE EFFORT ITS THE MONEY THAT HAS BEEN WASTED TOO AND THATS A LOT OF SHUCKS!

      SO BEFORE YOU JUMPED OUT, TAKE THE PLUNGED OR GO FOR IT...THINK ON HOW DOES INTERNET AFFAIRS VARY FROM REAL LIFE ROMANCE. PERHAPS SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE IS...COMMUNICATION. COMMUNICATION PLAYS SUCH A MAJOR ROLE. WORDS THAT CONVEY FEELINGS HAVE MAJOR EFFECT. VERY ENORMOUS I MAY SAY SO. ON THE INTERNET WE POLISH OUR INTELLECT, OUR IMAGINATION AND PERSONALITY AS WELL.

      BUILD TRUST, CONFIDENCE AND HONESTY FIRST BEFORE YOU MEET THE PERSON.TAKE TIME WITH YOUR LOVER ONLINE.BE SURE YOU GET ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION BEFORE JUMPING IN THE RELATIONSHIP. IN THIS WAY YOU WONT HAVE A LOT OF DISGUSTMENT AND DISAPPOINTMENTS AFTER AND I TELL YOU THERE WILL BE A WOW EFFECT WHEN YOU HAVE THIS THREE I HAVE MENTIONED..

      MOST OF THE PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH THE INTERNET RELATIONSHIP OCCUR BECAUSE THEY REMAIN ONLY AN INTERNET AFFAIR AND BECAUSE THEY BUILD ONLY FANTASY AND LETTING IT TAKE OVER OR BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP WITH A FICTION AND NOT REALITY.

      AND WHEN YOU MEET AND IF YOU MEET THE PERSON? ARE YOU SURE OF YOURSELF THAT THERE WILL STILL BE A MAGIC ON THE AIR? ARE YOU WILLING TO TAKE THE RISK? ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO DANCE WITH FIRE? WELL, IF YOU WILL HEAR SWEET MUSIC WHEN YOU MEET YOUR LOVER ONLINE FACE TO FACE...OK..THEN GO FOR IT!ITS YOU AND ITS YOUR DECISION.

      AND WHAT IF YOU ARE DISSATISFIED? OH NO! THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN. ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO FACE THINGS AGAIN? CAN YOU HOLD BACK THE TEARS? OR CAN YOU RETURN BACK TO YOUR NORMAL SELF? SO..THINK...

      THE DEBATE NOW IS...IS IT THAT LOVE CAN DEVELOP FROM INTELLECTUAL LEVEL ONLY? WITHOUT PHYSICAL ATTRACTIONS WITHOUT THE FAMILIARITY OF OTHERS APPEARANCE? THERE ARE THOSE OF COURSE WHO FAVORS INTERNET AFFAIR RELATIONSHIP CLAIMING THAT THE INTENSITY OF THE EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPS IN SUCH A WAY. AND THAT ARE THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SUCH A GREAT AND AMAZING LOVE STORY THAT STARTED ON THE NET.

      WHATEVER THE OPINION IS, SEE TO IT THAT THE PERSON WHOM YOU ARE TALKING TO IS SINCERE ENOUGH TO FULFILL HIS PROMISES, HONEST ENOUGH IN DELIVERING HIS MESSAGE ONLINE AND GREAT ENOUGH TO BE WORTH GIVING YOUR FULL ATTENTION AND LOVE.

      SO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM POSSIBLE TRAPS. IT WOULD BE USEFUL TO WEIGH THINGS FOR YOURSELF BEFORE YOU COMMIT. THERE ARE GOOD ADVICES AND YOU CAN FIND IT ON THE NET. ON HOW AND HOW NOT TO MEET YOUR LOVER ONLINE, AND WHEN TO GIVE FLIRTS OR WHEN NOT TO FLIRT. FROM THIS ALONG, YOU CAN HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN THINGS AND YOU WILL HAVE BETTER CHANCES IN RECOGNIZING CHARACTERS THAT WILL LURK YOU IN FINDING A MATE TRU INERNET. AND YOU ALONE...CAN JUDGE IT FOR YOURSELF.

      SO DONT PREY ON THE NET. DONT USE THE NET AS A TOOL TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF SOMEONE, EXTRACTING FALSE INFORMATIONS, BECOMES ADDICTS ON THE NET, LOSING SENSES, HOPPING FROM CHATROOM TO CHATROOM, LOOKING FOR AND EYEING FOR ANOTHER VICTIM OR USING THE NET FOR SEX TRADE. BEWARE OF EASY LOVERS TOO IT WILL DRIVE YOU CRAZY, DONT USE THE NET TO PLAY DANGEROUS GAMES FOR WITH THE OTHER PERSON, DO NOT PLAY WITH THEIR EMOTIONS, DONT GIVE FALSE HOPE AND PROMISES ONCE COMMUNICATION OPENS,TRY TO BECOME A FRIEND FIRST IT WILL HELP, BUILD TRUST AND HONESTY, BE FAITHFUL ENOUGH WHEN THE LOVE STARTS TO LIT.

      DESPITE ALL WHAT I HAVE SAID...THERE ARE LOT OF PEOPLE WHO CHOOSE INERNET AS A TOOL IN FINDING A MATE. AND THAT I WOULD NOT ARGUE ANYMORE. THERE ARE LOTS OF SITES WHERE YOU CAN FIND ONE. THERE ARE LOT OF CHOICES YOU CAN CHOOSE BUT BE CAUTIOUS ENOUGH THAT YOU DONT END UP CRYING AND IN THE LOSING END OR WORST IS LOSING YOUR SENSES. KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!

      FINDING A PARTNER ON THE NET? YES IT SOUND GREAT ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU CAN WRAP YOURSELF IN ANONYMITY. FOR A WHILE ANYWAY, AT LEAST UNTIL THE FIRST ACTUAL MEETING, WHICH CAN BE REALLY A DISILLUSIONING EXPERIENCE. JUST WHEN EVERYTHING COMES TOGETHER, THE WRITING STYLE, PROPER USE OF GRAMMAR, THEN THE VOICE ON THE TELEPHONE, THE THOUGHTFULNESS. YOU ACTUALLY BELEIEVE THAT REALITY WILL BE THIS GREAT. AND YUCKS IF HE/SHE NOT YOUR TYPE? YOU WISH THAT YOU COULD DISAPPEAR.

      MANY PEOPLE COME AND GO IN PERSONS LIFE, BUT THERE WILL BE THAT SOMEONE WHO WILL MAKE THE DIFFERENCE. THE STORY YOU JUST READ IS TRUE. ONLINE RELATIONSHIP CAN WORK SOME JUST DONT HAVE A HAPPY ENDINGS. MY LOVE STORY IS ONE OF A HAPPY ENDING. WE HAD THIS WHOLE WONDERFUL LIFE PLANNED OUT. THE MORAL OF MY STORY IS..ITS NOT A SHADY PLACE TO FIND A MATE THROUGH INTERNET. I CAN PERSONALLY BEAR THAT FACT THAT I HAVE FOUND MY SOULMATE. BUT FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL BROWSING TO FIND A MATE ALWAYS BE CAUTIOUS, BE ALERT ABOUT WHOM YOU ARE TALKING TO, MAKE A DATE WHY NOT? AGREE..YES, BUT PUT A LITTLE COMMON SENSE AND INTUITION AND BE WISE. MAYBE...WITHOUT DOUBT...IF... INTERNET IS A GREATEST RESOURCE A SINGLE COULD HAVE GOT TO KNOW.

      hope ypu got an idea now...share this to your friend.

  3. QUESTION:
    Online Relationships?
    You remember back in the day, if you're in college now or graduated, when you would come home and get on Yahoo! chat or Cheetah chat (or any other one of them) and meet people that you wanted to start "relationships" with? Remember how they were your "net boo"? Anyway, I just want to know what the point of these online relationships are if you're not planning on ever meeting any of the people you chat with. Some people keep their same screen names for FOREVER and people come and go; restart relationships. What's up with that?
    Are you friends? Can you count these encounters as relationships? Has it all gone too far?

    • ANSWER:
      Online Relationships... Online Relationships.. Online Relationships... Lordy, well I've got to say it's not desperate to do some online dating, sometimes its the best way, especially if you're not looking... it's an incredible way for shy people to get to know others and it's a great test for the trust. (Which I would say is a large portion of a relationship) Overall Online Relationships do have pros and they got they lil cons (Can't forget about online stalkers... who turn into real-life stalkers... gotta watch 'em close) But I see online as just another club or cafe... (In those places too you gotta watch for the stalkers) I still consider it a relationship and it's probably even stronger (If it's between two honest, trustworthy folks) than a relationship where you see the person every day....

  4. QUESTION:
    Am I stuck in an online relationship?
    I really don't know if I am and I don't think I want to be.

    We met online in a chat room last month, exchanged screen names, and we've been having IM conversations once and awhile ever since.
    He's really sweet,I love talking to him, and I know he feels the same. Lately, our conversations always take a dirty turn but we've only cybered once.

    Honestly, I don't want to fall for a guy who lives hundreds of miles away from me and I've always been the type condemning these things but now I really don't know what to say. How do I know he hasn't done this before or if he got other girls on the side? He doesn't seem like the type but I don't know.

    Am I in an online relationship, if so, what should I do?

    • ANSWER:
      You're definitely in an online relationship. For it to go any further, you'll eventually have to meet, and then it will become a long distance relationship (which is harder than online relationships mind you). Have you seen a picture of him? If not, you should get a picture of him soon. Even better, tell him to go get a webcam and microphone, you do the same... then download Skype. You two will be able to talk for free, and webcam with eachother. That way, if you're really serious about this, you can get to know him better.

      One more thing, when you two actually establish a relationship, you have to trust that he isn't cheating on you. I know it's hard, but what else can you do. It'll be hard for you, and I strongly suggest just finding someone near you.. because these kind of relationships can be very painful. I'm in a long distance relationship, which started out as an online relationship... and it's been very rough, but I wouldn't trade my relationship for the world. I enjoy the time I get with my boyfriend so much more since he's so far away and we don't get to see eachother that often.

  5. QUESTION:
    Online relationships?
    I'm just curious about how many of you out there have had relationships that all started on the net.

    I've found that it's not easy in this society to meet other gay/lesbian/bi/transgendered folks, and I've had my fair share of relationships that got their start online, so I wondered if this were the case for a lot of you out there.

    I'm currently in a relationship with someone I met the first week of college 11 years ago, so this one didn't get its start online, but I've had 4 or 5 that did.

    Feel free to share your stories! As always, thank you for those of you with sincere responses. To anyone else, feel free to leave your rude comments and they will be disregarded here just like they are when you leave them on other peoples' questions.

    • ANSWER:
      Yes, I've had 2 online relationships before. I met the first and the second (separate occasions) on message boards of our fave tv shows. It started with emails and then getting-to-know-you phase then the romance part, etc. etc... but eventualy, both relationships have ended because of personal reasons. However, they've become my best friends now and we keep in contact either thru emails, text messages or online/phone chats. (Coz they live in other countries).

      I think once you're past the hurt or painful memories of a relationship with one person, u can start and/or build or develop it again with said person. It's just a matter of time. Unless of course it ended badly. Well, it all depends on the people involved if they want to reconnect with former flames and do the "forgive and forget" thing. ;o) Okay, I'm kinda digressing... sorry...

      Anyhoo, I do admire the people who have met their partners online. I love reading or hearing their stories. It's not easy to meet people esp. for shy people but thru the internet, it has become possible now. However, some work and others don't... coz u don't know if you're compatible with a person in real life as you are online. Then there's the issue of long distance relationships. A person might find his/her true love on the other side of the world and then because of distance, it's hard to be with them, so the relationship dissolves. Unless u both make an effort to keep it going and visit each other as often as possible. (That means u also have to be financialy stable).

      Anyhoo, I've rambled on long enuf... I just wanna say that online relationships are cool and awesome... I'd probably do it again if the right person comes along. ;o)

  6. QUESTION:
    Do you believe in online relationships?
    Well I met the love of my life online. We talk every single day, all day over text, phone & Facebook. I know he is a real person (I did make him prove it, and he made me prove it too) and I researched him/his family on google (A little creepy, yes, but I went into this with caution.) We don't put a label on "us" i.e.: we dont call each other girlfriend/boyfriend or say we're in a relationship - but we have had long deep talks about how much we love each other & how we're going to wait for each other (We currently cannot be together because of distance/school/we are both young.) We remain faithful to each other & we love each other (for those who are in love, I'm sure you know what I'm feeling right now.)

    I told 2 of my friends & I am not sure if he told any of his friends (and I don't mind if he doesn't because people judge when you say you met someone online.) But we do have plans to be together as soon as we can....

    I'm perfectly okay with this & so is he, but... I care what people think. I'm not gonna sit here and lie and say "idc about other people's opinions!" cause I honestly do. I mean I'm gonna proceed with this relationship either way but.. Do you guys believe meeting someone online/online relationships work?

    • ANSWER:
      I have met MANY people online, and only one person I met online was a genuine person. My ex and I had each other known for a week (we met on plentyoffish), we met in person and began dating. We broke up after 5 months of dating. He's still a good friend of mine. I can tell you right now that sometimes dating a person you knew in real life already is so much better than meeting someone online. It gives you less work to do and you already have an idea of who they are. I began dating my coworker a month or so ago. I met him nearly a year ago after he transfered to my store from his store, so I already had an idea of who he was when we got together. My idea of him actually changed over time because I did not like him when we met.

      I don't think he can be the love of your life if you haven't met (and I am saying that with ton of internet experience) I think having the feeling of being able to stand in front of the person you're with and being able to be around them is so much better than to just im/text/call each other all day. I say find someone you can be able to be with right away in real life, or just meet people in person.

  7. QUESTION:
    Online Relationship?
    Have you had a good relationship online that ended up leading to more? Tell me the details.

    • ANSWER:
      I met my husband online, working on a Star Trek RPG. We im'ed and called each other for a year, then I met him, and things were AWESOME! Total soul mates. I saw him again when he graduated Basic Training, he proposed to me when I visited his family for Christmas... we've been together three years now, married for six months, and I love it! My best friend met her fiance the same way. Just be careful... get to know the guy... but don't let people get you down about meeting someone online. I can't believe how lucky I am to have met my husband in Texas, while I lived in California. Yay for online relationships.

      I did have two other boyfriends online. One attended my wedding, and is my best guy friend, been talking for 5 years. The other was a terrible person, the kind your mom said to be careful of... but overall, my experiences are good.

  8. QUESTION:
    Online relationship question?
    I am married, relatively unhappliy so, and have met someone online. He lives a half an hour away and I have become truly enamored with him. Should I consider meeting him? He's 15 years older than I am, but we im, email and talk on the phone daily. I have a child and am a bit afraid to take the leap.

    • ANSWER:
      Its a tough situation. Sounds like you are ready to leave your unhappy marriage but are afraid of the unknown.

      I think you should meet this man for the simple reason he may not be who you really thought he was. I dont mean he is a horrible man because I am sure you have worked out that he isnt. But online chatting is different to meeting someone in person. You need that connection, and you only really get that when you meet face to face. I have met a few men on line and thought they were great, and they were....there was nothing wrong with them, but when I met them in person it was a different matter, there was just something that wasnt right...they were still the same nice person they were on the net, but after meeting them in person there was something that didnt feel right, and I cant even explain it.

      If you want to move out from your marriage, you need to do it for you and your child...you need to do it in the best interests of both of you. You should never leave a relationship for another person. I do understand how you can be attracted to this man on-line, it has happened to me, but like I said when I met them, it was totally different. But in saying that, I did meet one man who I connected with instantly...long story...I fell totally deeply in love with him and he with me, so on-line chatting isnt all bad, you just need to be aware of your own needs and work out what you are looking for. Dont just go for the first man who is interested in you and you in him...meet him first, then decide if there is a connection.

      Maybe you are looking to get out of the marriage and this, to you, seems the easiest way out. Its not.

      Meet with him, then decide what you want to do. Dont make any decisions about your feelings for this man until you do meet. I could tell you a lot of my own personal stories about this, but it would take too long. But believe me, your feelings for him might be totally different when you meet him. Just quickly...I met this man I had been chatting to for ages...I really thought we would hit it off. When I met him, he had this smell about him that turned me totally off....He was still a lovely guy, just this smell...it could have been his deodorant, or just his natural smell...it is something I really cannot explain, but that alone made it impossible for me to go any further with him. There are heaps of reasons why people dont connect with each other on a physical level, some reasons cannot be explained, and people may think the smell of a person may be a very shallow reason, maybe it wasnt just his smell alone...I just know I didnt connect with him physically. Had I continued this on-line relationship, then our feelings would have become deeper which would have ultimately set us both up for a big fall. Meet with him, its the only way you are really going to know.

      There are obviously a lot of problems in your relationship. I suggest you broaden your horizons...dont just think of this man as the one and only...meet with him first and then decide.

      I wish you well...I hope you find your true soul mate....we all deserve to be happy.

  9. QUESTION:
    Can anyone relate with me about online relationships?
    I've been in an online relationship for over a year and a half now, and we're completely in love. We met on a gaming forum site, talked for months and got to really know each other, and then we finally started talking on the phone. Now, we have been talking for hours every day for about a year. There is no doubt in either of our minds that we are in love.

    What bothers me the most, is that there are so many stereotypes out there about online relationships and the people that you meet online, and I have been ridiculed so often because of it. It's like people forget that there are normal people just like us on the internet as well.

    Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Or have a similar situation?

    • ANSWER:
      I understand exactly what you are talking about. I was in a long distance online relationship for a year with my boyfriend before he moved closer to me. We have been together for three years now and are still going strong. We live together and couldn't be happier.

      People are always going to be judgmental, no matter what you do. The key thing is to do things that make YOU happy, not everyone else. Online relationships can work out and often do as long as both people are committed and honest. Now-a-days many people meet their partners online but yet we are still ridiculed for it. It doesn't make sense and it isn't fair but it happens. It is something that we just have to accept and focus on our relationship and the person we love. Defend your relationship when necessary but for the most part ignore the ignorant people

      My boyfriend and I met on a game website (I don't even remember the name anymore) and eventually began talking on aim. After many months of getting to know each other, we moved our talks to the phone and couldn't get enough of talking to each other. Our relationship grew and grew and we fell in love. He came to visit me several times and eventually moved to be near me. It wasn't all easy but it WAS worth it. People told us it wouldn't work. Some tried to get in our way but we were in love and no one could change that. We are stronger for it.

      Just know you are not alone and there are people who understand what you are going through and feeling. Never let anyone make you feel like this isn't a real relationship, because we both know that it is. It is very possible to form deep bonds and fall deeply in love online and through the phone. It really makes face to face contact that much more special.

      Good luck to you Sweetie. I hope you two make it!
      -Brit

  10. QUESTION:
    Online relationship advice?
    I am involved with a guy online. We have been up and down for 5 mos, going on 6. We will talk and skype for several days, at a time and he seems very into it, usually being the one dictating the amount of time we spend, which I love, because I want to spend as much time as possible with him. Periodically, however he'll get sort of distant, and not wanna talk much, if at all for a day or 2. I tend to freak out and have expressed it many times, even resorting to accusing him of talking to others and such. He's been talking recently about the possibility of us meeting more frequently than in awhile, and I feel things were looking up. One of our biggest issues has been my inability to trust over the internet, and will admit that most of our fights/parting of ways were a direct result of some admittedly neurotic behavior, which I am trying to keep in check. I am rambling, but basically, when he pulls away for a day or 2 like this, he has tried reassuring me repeatedly that it's not me, he just needs alone time. Is it normal for men to need downtime, to just lay in bed and watch tv, etc. I want to learn to shake the feeling it must mean he's talking to someone else, or just suddenly doesn't want me anymore cause I don't really believe it when I weigh all the time spent on cam and things that have been said between us.

    • ANSWER:
      From personal experience with online relationships, as a guy, I would try to talk to my girlfriend everyday, though, there are some days, you just really have to ditch them. It really is nothing personal. We still love you and want to spend time with you, but sometimes we just need space to do something else.

      The only way to really improve the relationship is to do something online that you both like to do. Maybe an online game or something?

      I have pretty strict rules when it comes to certain things, for example, if I'm eating, I don't care who you are, there's no way I'm stopping a meal to talk to you.

      So maybe it's that kind of thing. Maybe the new episode of whatever TV show he watches is on and he just doesn't want to miss it. It can be several things.

      Anyways I hope that helps and isn't too discouraging.

  11. QUESTION:
    Online relationships?
    Do you think they are pathetic and only for those who lack self-confidence?
    -That they won't last?

    Do you think that people could actually meet the love of their lives online?
    -That in some way it's better than a real life one?

    • ANSWER:
      I've had multiple long term relationships online and off. I've had year+ long relationships with people online and off.

      Do you think they are pathetic and only for those who lack self-confidence?
      No, obviously lol. I have perfectly fine self confidence. In fact, I am perfectly fine with myself and being sexual with people in the real world. It is true that some people who date online are lacking self confidence, however that is really a generalization. There are some very beautiful people online. The girl I'm dating currently is beautiful and smart and very witty. She has tons of friends and has had plenty of partners before me where she lives. She's been a party girl and hung out with the best of the social crowd, as well as been a hard working employee for companies. I'm a student at a good university majoring in cs. I've had relationships with friends and partners in the real world. I'm pretty and social and I love my life. I'm not dating her because I don't get offers in person (I'm a pretty half asian girl .. that's like a recipe for massively getting hit on) and it's not like she's dating me because she doesn't get offers in person (She's a 5'5 110lb australian blonde who could be a model ... in fact she's just hot) it's just that we prefer each others company.
      http://hphotos-snc3.fbcdn.net/hs457.snc3/26123_371230029598_654524598_3715202_3146515_n.jpg
      http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs463.snc3/25464_330893309598_654524598_3601413_7721616_n.jpg
      ^^ That's me.
      FYI, she's prettier than me. By a lot. It's a little scary.

      When I was young teens we started talking over IM nearly everyday and back then I was sort of pathetic and lacking self confidence. I had just moved to a new school and didn't know anyone. She was going through a hard time in her life as that eventually led too moving out of her moms house at 15. I know those are two completely different situations but we were both looking for some friendship and someone to talk too during that time and when we met, we both listened to eachother and talked and got along very well. We were the friend and listener and comfort that we had both been craving during that time. We started "online dating" as a result of this friendship. I loved her personality and I loved being "with" her every day. The sexual part of the relationship stemmed purely from the emotional at this point. I only had a vague idea what she looked like.

      -That they won't last?
      We broke up after a few months of dating because she in the process of moving and changing her life. We were young (13-15 yrs old ish) and the idea of ever being together in person was far beyond the range of either of our imaginations. That's where you'd think it'd end and prove that online relationships don't last, but that's just not the case. It's been 8 years since then and now we're both in our young 20's. We've had that deep and emotional bond since we met and it hasn't really gone away over the years, only now we're older and the possibility of being together in person is a real one. We webcam and skype and (embarrassed to admit) have phone sex.

      She's turned into a really beautiful person and after I finish college (i'm a senior, so hopefully in the next year or two -cough-) then I fully intend on getting on a plane and going to live with her. If it doesn't work out, then I've still gotten to travel abroad and I can come home, or stay, and continue my life. The reason that our relationship is managing to work now is because we know exactly how long we have to wait to be together. It's a matter of waiting 2-3 years. We've been together over a year now, and if we manage to wait the rest of the time it'll work out. If we don't, it won't. She's visiting within the next year so we'll see if it lasts through that. It's not a guarantee but it certainly helps having an eventual time to live together. If theres no change you'll ever be together then I very seriously doubt it will work out. You simply need that physical comfort in your life. I probably couldn't wait 10 years, but I can wait 3.

      Do you think that people could actually meet the love of their lives online?
      I do think it's possible. Theres nothing but an emotional connection online, so sure I think it's very possible to build a working relationship out of it. I think it's a lot harder without the physical comfort, and I think it's not the ideal situation, but I do think it can happen. I think it has happened to me. Now another problem may be that you're just not attracted to your partner when you meet them in person. That's a very real possibility and one that you should be prepared for. If that happens then you're out of luck, however if you've seen pictures/webcam of this person you probably have a pretty good idea of what they look like. Then it's a much smaller chance that you'll be physically incompatible.

      -That in some way it's better than a real life one?
      In .. very few ways. I wouldn't recommend an onli

  12. QUESTION:
    online relationship? anyone pls give opinion?
    how you actually be so confident your online relationship will go far further than just online? how long you have this kind of relationship until you meet him/her and start a new day after get united with marriage? does anyone of you fall in love with someone in online games? how you make online relationship so strong till the day you both get married?
    i am talking about those who succesfully get married btw XD

    • ANSWER:
      Well, to have a strong relationship (strong enough, at least) you need to break the number 1 rule about online games.

      You need to get to know the real person behind the game. Name, state, city, likes, dislikes. GENDER. If the person is lying, then you can't really trust them in a relationship. It works the same way it does in real life. If you want to have a relationship with somebody, you need to get to know them.

      Probably the best tool you have to help with this is Facebook or MySpace. Those two have the highest likelihood of having real pictures of the person, and lets face it. You need to know what the person looks like.

      Finally, if you want the relationship to last into the real world and marriage, you need to accommodate a way for both of you to meet in the real world. Imagine that the game is like IM. A really cool version of IM. As cool as it may be, you need to have real contact with the person for it to work.

      Good luck! If you need any more help, just contact me through my profile.

  13. QUESTION:
    Online relationship?
    I've been in an online relationship with an American for 2 and a half years. we haven't met yet,but i was planning on going to toronto for vacation and he was planning on coming to see me.now he says he can't see me for other reasons(i know what they are and i understand, nothing to do with me)but i feel that if we don't meet now we'll never meet.i went to toronto 2 years ago and he gave me the same reasons and didn't come see me.i care more than a lot for him and i know he cares too. but if he always finds excuses how can we meet? he's always been good to me, and never done anything that made me wonder if he's serious or not. we started as friends but slowly it turned to something more, he's my best friend and he understands me a lot. should i tell him that if he doesn't come see me it's over but it's entirely up to him? i want to go in april but he wants me to go in may so it suits him. i'm confused, coz i've already arranged everything but he's annoyed that i didn't tell him first
    Obviously I know Toronto is in Canada, but i've already mentioned he's American, which means we'll both be making a trip away from our country. Besides i've already seen his face on camera, and he's seen mine. He has health issues and has to move from his apartment to a different one. Those are his reasons. and to all who say that online relationships are not real, i prefer them. i get to know the other person inside and then outside, which is better. most of the answers here have been useless, but thx anw.

    • ANSWER:
      Ignore the ignorant responses-you should to take advice from those who have experience with online relationships! The internet is just another tool that is used to meet individuals just like a club, a bar, a cafe, etc.; so it isn't desperate that you started talking to this man and fell in love with him. However, it is in fact bizarre that every time you planned to meet this man he always made an excuse to not meet you. In all honesty, if someone loves you, they definitely would want to see you and would cancel all plans that were previously made on the day that you were coming in order so that they can finally meet the love of their life! Then again, there might be something drastic going on in his life and he really wasn't able to see you. But since you made plans to come in April and he is telling you to come in May, I would plan to see him in May and confirm my prospective trip repeatedly by mentioning to him how excited I am to finally be able to meet him. Try to notice how he reacts when you say this, for example, does he sound excited? nervous? sad? awkward? Before you plan on seeing him in May, the best advice I can give you is to disappear for a bit (online) and try to see if he looks for you (you'll be able to tell if he really cares about you and is concerned that you are not online and that he hasn't heard any news from you in a while) then try to shock him by pretending to not be able to tolerate being seperated from him anymore and declare that you have to see him as soon as possible and you are planning on coming in March. See how he reacts, if he freaks out once again, there's definitely something else going on with him: there might be a secret world that he's hiding from you with a wife or a child in it, he may not be interested in having a serious relationship with you and may be using you to have fun, or then again he may be a hideous looking predator.

      Just protect yourself and trust your womanly instinct! Good luck!

      -BY THE WAY: I also say I have "health problems" when I do not want to see someone or complete a task....ahem....Keep your eyes open Darlin'!

  14. QUESTION:
    Is this online long distance relationship real or should I end it completely? Please help guys?
    I've been talking to this guy that I met online a year ago. He lives out in Winnipeg and myself in Toronto. We have spoked on and off and only recently did I have enough guts to call him and ever since then, its been txt msg, phone calls and late night msn. The conversations are never a dull moment, always laughing and joking around. I've asked him when he'd come visit me and he'll say "you should come here first, to see if you like it out here" That bugs me because I'm the girl, shouldn't he come see me? Especially him knowing that my strict indian parents would never allow that. He actually said at one point "lets plan our own trips to see each other without telling anyone" I found that kinda creepy. But then he'll send me "goodmorning msgs and "goodnight babe, sweet dreams msgs" I found it a little too clingy but sweet. He also thinks that the guy shouldn't have to leave his home, the girl should. That would be the biggest sacrifice from me, moving away from my family and friends. Yet he still thinks I should visit him first which is entirely impossible and he knows that cause he's indian too. There's something going on with this guy, some days I think he's the one but then there are days when i think "something is up" I feel like I should end it but what if he's the one and I ruin a potential long term relationship that may lead to marriage. I dont know what to do? I dont want to move out there but how can I argue against him, he says he wants to live close to his parents. Maybe he doesn't like me enough to spend money on a plane ticket?? Any ideas? Thanks in advance guys:) Its weird how sometimes even your closet friends can't help you but complete strangers in the cyber world can:)

    • ANSWER:
      Your online relationship is not genuine. If he really likes you then he would come out to see you which he does not plan on doing.
      If he did come to see you, there would not be a guarantee that he would be serious about moving to where you live.
      My last girlfriend told me that she was in a long-distance relationship.
      Although her boyfriend did fly out from the state he lived in to visit her, he was never serious about moving to California to live with her as he gave my last girlfriend excuses.
      Online relationships rarely work out.
      There are negatives to long-distance relationships-you cannot be with that person when you like, you are wondering if that person is honest with their feelings towards you and if they are with somebody else.
      Another negative to long-distance relationships is that you have to lie about where you met the person you are dating to your friends or family as it is embarrassing if you tell them that you met that person off the internet.
      My cousin has a boyfriend whom she met off the internet.
      She finished high school this past spring but she still lives with her parents and does not work.
      She made up some story about where she met her boyfriend who is 19.
      She never goes anywhere except school and home so obviously she met that person off the internet.
      The person she met is no catch at all as he does not even work.
      He moved into my aunt and uncle's house which made my cousin's parents upset. The strange thing is they have not bothered to try to get him to leave by calling the police.
      People in my family think that the whole situation is weird.
      The only good thing about long-distance relationships is that you keep your individuality.
      I have been in two long-distance relationships.
      I had a girlfriend who was the one that wanted me to be her boyfriend even though I cannot remember why.
      I was probably desperate for a girlfriend when I first started to chat with her online. I was also naive to get into a relationship with her.
      We would talk on the phone at times and I bought phone cards so I could call her (this was way before I had a cell phone).
      She would get mad at me at times and she started to see a guy before or right after our relationship ended.
      She told her boyfriend whom she did meet in person to harass me online by instant messaging me on my AIM screen names and he ended up hacking into my old computer.
      After he hacked into my old computer, it never functioned properly.
      If he does not have enough money for a plane ticket to see you then that would be understandable especially if he works a low-paying job or just does not work. If his parents are too strict, then that would be another reason why he cannot see you which he should tell you as I am sure you would find that reason acceptable.
      I had a girlfriend who was Arabic and she had no privacy as she came from a poor family. She had no bedroom and had to sleep in the living room. Although she lived in the same city as me, we would not talk on the phone and had to communicate with each other on a daily basis through instant messages.
      My second to last relationship was long-distance.
      To me, being in a long-distance is difficult not only because you cannot spend time with who you like or love but also if you have problems, then you have to deal with them on your own.
      Him telling you, "We should plan our own trips," I find not only disturbing too but also suggests that nobody who knows him knows about you.
      You do not know if he is your soul mate as you have not even hanged out together to get a sense if you are comfortable being with him.
      Since you have doubts about him and you are not completely happy about being in this long distance relationship, then you should seriously consider ending it. I know this has been long but I hope that I have helped you out. Take care of yourself. ~ Alan

  15. QUESTION:
    Do you believe in online relationships .. ?
    Are u sure about the trustworthiness of people when ur in an online relationship .. ? are u sure it is enough to judge a person .. ? will u marry anybody just because u like your chats with them .. ? your thoughts ?

    • ANSWER:
      online relationship is just a fantasy...

      people get attracted to someone online easily than in real life....in my opinion any relationship lasts long only if they trust each other.....without trust no relationship lasts long...in the same,people who are in online relationship must have trust on each other and patience......:)

      we're not sure abt the other person....but if we trust them,its okay..i think its better to meet personally atleast once before starting online dating......

      many people succeeded in online relationships and some ended by hurting each other.....

      love can start at anytime and anywhere...so i think its better to think twice and act wise before starting online relationship....they have to be CAREFUL !!

  16. QUESTION:
    online relationship?
    I've been seeing this guy for a few months now, but it's online. And I think I'm really falling in love with him, should I tell him or not?

    • ANSWER:
      First of all, it's not true that online relationships NEVER work. My hubby and I are proof of that, we met online five years ago and have been ecstatically married for nearly three years.

      Second, it IS true that you don't really know a person until you have spent time together in person. You get to know a lot about a person online, but the little habits, idiosyncracies, attitudes, body language, and how truthful they have been you only see as you spend time face to face.

      Rather than telling him you think you are in love with him, tell him you think you would like to get to know him better. Is it feasible to meet? this must be done carefully, and preferably not alone. You need to be very cautious until you know each other VERY well.

      All that now said ... online and long distance relationships are very difficult to maintain, and take 100% commitment and honesty from both parties, as well as a lot of trust.

  17. QUESTION:
    Have a relationship online?
    How can i have an online boyfrnd and make him real?

    • ANSWER:
      Being in an online relationship is just a step to see if you will get along with him. It can be the start to a good long lasting relationship, or can be just an opportunity to know that you don't belong to each other. My best suggestion is to go to an online dating site, and present yourself in a profile, talking about yourself, and things you like in a person. If someone catches your eye, and you thought he might be a good person to know, and you feel like he's what you're looking for, move forward and talk on the phone and then decide to move from the virtual world to the real world.

  18. QUESTION:
    Could an online relationship turn into an offline relationship?
    I have been talking to this guy for several months online. I am 29 and he is 34 and we live pretty far apart from one another. We talk online often and we like how our current relationship is but we also are curious to see what this could become offline too. Would you recommend that we meet each other in person or keep things the way it is online only?

    • ANSWER:
      I had an online relationship once, and we did meet up, it turned into a 5 year relationship. We parted ways because, I guess we out grew each other and there were some family issues on her side, that I really didn't cope up with. Otherwise, it was good. I guess that you can tell a lot from the way people chat online, especially when they are quite mature, then tend less to leave a "mask" on. I would advise that it would be entirely up to you. If he seems like a nice enough guy, then take the risk of letting it blossom into a full pledged relationship, I mean you will never really know if you have the chemistry if you don't meet him face to face. I would suggest to meet up in a public place with lots of people around you, talk with him and see how it goes. Use your instinct, on how well it would go and then what ever may happen next may be up to you.

      ",

  19. QUESTION:
    Online relationship problem?
    I met this guy online and we've been talking for half a year. It feels like it's been longer. I really like him, and he says he really likes me. Problem is he's really far away. A country away in fact. So there's no hope in seeing him.

    Lately this girl's been flirting with him in real life. He told me he would date her its just he's not looking for a relationship at the moment. He's not a jerk, so he's willing to talk to her no matter how much she flirts with him. They're in the same class. I'm kind of worried and depressed about the whole situation. I've been debating if I should let him go and move on. Afterall, if something does happen, the bottomline is I'm not there. I wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

    Just because it's online, don't underestimate how much I like the guy. I've never liked anyone as much as him.
    What should I do.. ?

    • ANSWER:
      Ive been in an online relationship. And a country over in fact. But I'm unsure of how far away you are. I was in the US, she was in Canada. I felt like there would be no one else, and she was just perfect for me. We lost hope as well in meeting each other and pursuing a relationship, but that's when I took the initiative. I told her how I felt and want to pursue this. So I saved up money, went on a trip to see her, spent the most amazing week of my life with her, and we started to date and continually saved up money together just so I can come see her. There's nothing you can't do. have hope, tell him how you feel and hope for the best.

      My story ends unhappily, but I hope yours begins with something beautiful :)

      Good Luck!

  20. QUESTION:
    Could my online relationship be fake?
    I met a guy my age online, so far its been great, but im wondering about a few red flags.

    We have known each other a month and we still havent talked on the phone. I gave him my number but he never gave me his :( I was thinking he just isnt ready yet...but idk i still worry. So far we only talk on a messenger.

    Most of the pictures he has given me of himself are all from the same night when he was staying at a hotel. He plays hockey and he gave me a hockey pic of him. but other than that, the pics are all from the same few hours. He gave me a picture of him on his bed just chillin (it was supposed to be cute lol), and he said he made it for me, but later when i was looking at it i realized it was the same bed from the hotel!! I was thinking maybe he liked the pic and just wanted me to think it was "specially made for me" even tho he actually didnt take it recently....but now im wondering if he is just fake.

    He has given me a picture of his coffee shop that he says his family owns, i thought that was pretty legit. but i looked up the name of the coffee shop in the yellow pages and it didnt come up. that makes me suspicious too :(

    Those are all the red flags so far....am i just being paranoid? Or should I be concerned that he is not who he says he is. I wish I could say i trusted my gut completely, but I don't, and I'm worried he is an old man or something. If he was someone else tho...he must be a genius because we have tons of convos just about our personal life and he seems like the guy he portrays

    • ANSWER:
      Online relationships are tricky. If you are worried, get him to somehow get on webcam or something. I had an online relationship with a guy for 8 months, it was fun and stuff. I can guarantee that he has told you white lies and maybe even big lies, everyone does. I have to admit even I did in that one "relationship". But I've learned for me, I need a guy that I can hold and touch hahaha. It's sooooo much nicer to have a real relationship where you can kiss and be affectionate with each other face to face.
      If you're worried, end it or ask him to call/webcam.
      Sounds pretty fishy to me!

  21. QUESTION:
    Online relationships? Help !?
    So I've been talking to a guy for almost 3 years, but recently we started talking a lot more online, and we exchanged numbers as well. He told me he likes me, but he is too scared to say anything. Likewise, I like him. But I know the whole online thing is weird. He's moving to where I live in a year to study, so I know we'll meet. He hasn't asked me out or anything, but we talk every single day and he says a few lovey dovey things here and here.

    He's had a bad expereince before with online relationships, so I guess he's afraid to start anything. How do I ask him whether we can establish a relationship of more than just friends, and not creep him out or sound desperate by that?

    p.s he's not some fat 50 year old pervert. Ive seen him on webcam :)

    • ANSWER:
      Tell him its more than a online relationship, or its soon to be. Almost reaffirm the trust and sociality between you two, I mean come on you two have been talking THREE YEARS! That's a very long time, why would you ruin the relationship for yourself and him with all that work put into it? Besides you two are meeting in real life so it won't be a online relationship then.

      But how do you reaffirm the trust and make him feel at ease? Explain your feelings to him, tell him you can't wait to meet him and just hint here and there stuff you two can do when he comes. Other than that just talk to him more, tell him more stuff, make him feel as if you're not to going to cut him off anytime soon like his online ex's did.

      Good luck, looks like somethings good wil happen between you two!

  22. QUESTION:
    Online relationships good or bad.?
    ok so is an online relationship good or not? My friend REALLY wants to hav one, but idk if it's good or not

    • ANSWER:
      i have had a real relationship and an online one.

      the online relationship lasted for 3 months, but it wasnt the same as havin a real bf. i did meet this guy in person cause he went to my skool and we talkd alot but he asked me out aftr he movd but ut wasnt the same.

      but the relationship i am in now, i have known this guy since the toddler yeers and we r so happy 2gether. and we hav been goin out for 6 months now and nothin went wrong and we r gonna have our first kiss this new years eve @ midnight cause of a promise we made when we were 8.

      when u can physically c the guy u can kiss and hug and they tend to last more time cause u c ech othr and u r less likely to fall 4 anothr guy along the way.
      good luck and happy new years!

  23. QUESTION:
    Online relationships. Major advice needed?
    I'm in a very compromising situation and I need advice as soon as possible. I am 15. I'm a girl. I met a boy online about a month and a half ago. We have texted everyday since then. He is 17, he lives across the country from me.
    Before you freak out, please be opened minded about this. We became good friends. He has depression and anxiety and he sees a therapist and he has never had a girlfriend before.

    I have had boyfriends and I'm mentally stable. He likes me and I really care about him and his well being. We decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend even though we have never met and we have talked on the phone and done webcam and such, I do believe he is who he says he is. I believe he is 17, I've done webcam with him and his friends. Anyway, we've been doing a boyfriend girlfriend thing and we talk all the time.
    At first I didn't think it was serious at all, I knew I shouldn't be doing it. But eventually I got to liking the attention and the support he gave me. So I stayed with him until now.

    Last night I had a panic attack thinking about our relationship. I am so afraid that he will be unstable after I break up with him, he thinks we will be together for a long time, he says he loves me. But really, I know he's just infatuated because he's never had a girlfriend before and a girl has never liked him much before.

    I started freaking out and thinking what the hell am I doing?! I don't know this kid at all. Why am I doing this? This is only going to lead to trouble.
    But I have the hardest time with letting things go. I feel like it's my responsibility to make everyone happy and I feel like I'm a bad person if I just leave him. I really do like him, we've became good friends. He's nice to talk to. But he thinks so serious about us. He says I'm his best friend and he wants to marry me and have kids. I don't want any of that. I've told him many times of my plans for the future and I do not plan to be married. I also told him we will never be able to meet, most likely. And our relationship will never work out. I know it won't but I still want him right now for support.

    I know it's pathetic, it's awful and I shouldn't be doing this but the other half of me says it's okay. I can be his friend and have an online relationship to make him happy and try to help him with his depression and I will break it off when it's time. But I'm not sure. I'm so worried about it and I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing to be doing.

    What do you think?
    I've made online friends before, but what should I do?

    • ANSWER:
      Stay online friends with him for the time being.. Don't encourage talk about marriage or children.. If he brings that up, let him. You are only 17 and don't think about either marriage or children at your age.. Encourage him to get help with his anxiety and depression. Talk to him and motivate him to get help for that and to leave the house and to meet other people...to not just be at home all the time. Try to encourage him to start a new hobby.. or join a hobby club.. (you should do the same) Then both of you will make friends who are not just online friends and it will help him against his depression, together with proper treatment from a psychiatrist he can get his depression under control and you need a kind of therapy to help with your panic attacks and focusing on hobbies and making new friends would help you....don't break this off right now... let him get support and help first and you too get support for your problems, then when he is emotionally stronger .. you just will not be online as often as before and you can then tell him that you would like to be friends but that you don't envisage a romantic relationship.. tell him that when he is emotionally stronger.. then be less often online and it will be less hard on him. If he accepts to just be friends by that time, then you can do that.. talk to him on a weekly basis but not every day.. or you can just email each other .. You should be there to support him now and he can do the same for you... but you need to set things straight when he is over the worst of his depression ..he will be able to cope with it better then and he will have help from doctors and if he takes you up on joining a hobby club in his town, he may make friends there and it will be easier for him... because he has friends who can go visit him and that would be good for you also, to have positive friends around you and to do something that helps you focus on other things than your panic attacks.. you need to get out and make friends. x

  24. QUESTION:
    Is it okay to have an online relationship?
    I have a 19 year old boyfriend, but i only know him from online. I am 15. I havent met him. He is one of the hottest and nicest guys that I know though. Is it ok?

    • ANSWER:
      I don't think an online relationship can work if the couple is not spending some time with each other. It is too easy for one person to be completely fooled. I know women older than you who have developed online relationships only to find out the guy was not who he said he was.

      On the other side of the coin. I had an online friendship. We e-mailed and eventually talked on the phone. We met as friends and developed a relationship in I guess the "real world". By spending every other weekend together and constantly communicating we made it work. But again...we met and spent considerable face time.

      I would also be concerned about your age difference. Have you talked with your family about this. The ages 15 and 19 are not that far off, but you two are in two very different places in your life.

  25. QUESTION:
    Do online relationships ever work?
    So basically in freshman year I was a nerd, and people just see that same kid, and that I haven't a bit, when I'm actually a new guy. I plan on trying a online dating thing, once I'm 18. I was wondering if online relationships ever work?

    • ANSWER:
      Well, you mean online as in, you meet online, and then you date in person, right? Because yes, those definitely do work! Well, I mean, I've had all types of experiences from online dating. Sometimes it was suuuuper awkward after awhile and clear to both of us pretty quickly that we were not interested in each other. That's always disappointing but fine, as long we're both were cordial but finish our drinks pretty quickly. I've had first dates where it's been awkward for the first half hour or so, like we're interviewing each other for a job, but usually if there's chemistry, that wears off pretty quickly (alcohol helps). I've dated people I've met online for awhile. In fact, I met my current boyfriend doing Facebook Video Chat Rounds, haha (http://www.rounds.com/facebook-video-chat ). But in that case, it was way less awkward because we'd already talked a bit on webcam, so we had more rapport already established.

      So I don't know -- go at it with an open mind, try not to have any expectations. It can take a lot of dates before you hit upon a person you'd actually like to see for a second date. Be patient. :)


relationships online